Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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