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• (850): View more from Florida

  how was your day?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.

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• (830): View more from Texas

  I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.

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• (209): View more from California

  Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.

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• (707): View more from California

  Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.

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• (786): View more from Florida

  His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.

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