If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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