Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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