Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
