Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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