It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
