I'm drive I can fine osifer
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
