Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Never joke about your clitoris.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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