dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm both gender and math confused
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