it was like his penis was on wheels.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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