Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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