glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I pour the whiskey from now on
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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