Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
is it fun? or sober?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
