You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize