last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
