Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize