Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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