Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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