i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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