You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
