remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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