I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
