Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
