a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
