Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
