i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize