Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
