you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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