Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
