Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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