i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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