Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
