I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
