Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
