i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
