Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
