your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize