no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
