he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize