Just cropdusted the office
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
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