How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I can tuck mytits in my pants
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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