What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
