I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
