I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
