it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
