Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i out mim tonsoeep
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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