What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
