Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize