you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
