After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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