WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
