I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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