i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
