the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
