Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Is it because I queefed?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
