he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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