Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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