Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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