I didn't shave. On purpose
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I think people are normalizing furries
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize