look no pants
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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