so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
