dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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