What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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