The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
