I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
