Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
