question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
