He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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