Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
