i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
