I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
